bleh.

i hate not knowing. not being able to find out. i absolutely detest being lied to. i wanna believe every word that is said to me, but urgh its so hard. somethings are simply too hard to believe. how are they possible. and its so careless the response i get back. like it matters not. i dont deserve that. fuck, i wanna believe, but past events have led me to make my heart a little tougher. i care too much. i love too much. ive been lied to too much. it will not happen again that i get taken for a fool. maybe im just paranoid, due to the fact that the past has made me this way. i might be mistaken, but sadly i have no way of knowing whether i am or not. one thing i do know, for a fact, if i ever find out, again, that ive been lied to, again, it will be the end of it. the end of this. and you will regret the day you decided to mess with my heart.